


Longing

by OrcaAsesina



Category: No Fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:47:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22044334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrcaAsesina/pseuds/OrcaAsesina
Summary: Second Poem pertaining to end of 3 year relationship. Feel free to comment and/or suggest tags. Thank you.





	Longing

**Author's Note:**

> Second Poem pertaining to end of 3 year relationship. Feel free to comment and/or suggest tags. Thank you.

I stay awake at night pining for things that were.  
I listen to all our old songs and my heart just cries and my mind crumbles.  
I await the waves of our love only to be met with a deserted sandbox built big enough for one and even then the one can’t find comfortably enough.

We’re stuck in this tragedy like the song goes, you are my clarity.  
I wish I may, I wish I might that we may be all right tonight.  
But I know you brush aside my insecurities with these annoyed flips and these exhausted brushes of the hand.  
Your mind is the darkest corner of the ocean where the best secrets and treasures hide away from all the prying and loving eyes, away from the pirates and the scammers, yet you allowed me.  
So close to the brink, I absorbed your insanity and with it I became the space to your sea, the planets aligned and we became one...and now two and now three and now we are so split into the many different directions of the unknown that I ask can we pull ourselves back together, back to where we overload on one another, back to where you told me to shut and dance with you under our moonlight, back to where I woke up on 2313 W. Montana in your arms as you clutched me like a child to a teddy bear as I protected you from your demons not knowing that one day I would become one. 

And then it happened.  
And then the unshakeable, the unimaginable, the unholy unwinding of your world…  
Just...gone.

I was left in the wake of her stardust.  
I was left in the aftermath where your love could no longer go.  
I was left in the trenches caught between who you were and who you are now.  
I was left in this deafening hollow where I screamed and screamed and screamed to be released only to have my sounds never leave my throat at all.

So I dig.

And I dig.

Only to find I dug so deep I found parts of myself I never knew I had.  
Parts of myself that I didn’t even want to know.  
Parts of myself that are now exhausted and spent and dying. 

When a tigress is trapped in a corner, she lashes out with all the ferocity she has at friend and foe alike; you, my love, are both predator and prey all at once so I am sorry if I cannot distinguish you. I’m sorry that my heart and body and soul have no more to give to you for I am raw and dry. My mind is useless to you as well for I simply cannot fathom, cannot attempt to understand what it is to lose your entire cosmos in the blink of an eye. My empathy and my sympathy is nothing but pity and treachery in your eyes.  
And that is why, my darling, we may never be.  
And that is why, my darling, I dream of past, I dream of what could, I dream of wishes to be back all those nights ago.  
My dreams have now turned to nightmares and insomnia has become a dear friend.  
For what is the cruelest trick than to instill hope in the heart of the heartbroken that things can be as they were?

I am afraid.  
I am tired.  
I am alone.  
I am spent.  
I am used.

And yet I am unbreakable.

And I shall remain so with or without you, dear darling.  
I will miss your warmth but certainly not the coldness that has besieged your very entity to the point where your soul has become tainted and I fear we were not the kindred spirits I so loved us to be. 

Change my mind darling.  
Go back to the way things were, I beg and I plead of you...lest I stay back in your past as well.  
If indeed it be so then I thank you for showing me what true love and true heartache could be in one go.

I shall hold your scars to me for the rest of my days.


End file.
